Lone Wolf

I read a great piece today that I wanted to share here. Author was unknown. If anybody knows the author, please let me know so I can credit!


The wolf on the top of the hill
 is never as hungry as the wolf climbing the hill.

Challen Miller


It’s not easy going it alone. But if you KEEP GOING, stay true to yourself… it will be worth it in the end.

The hardest walk you can make is the walk you make alone, but that is the walk that makes you the strongest. That is the walk that builds your character the most.

To all of you fighting battles alone. To all of you going against the grain, battling the naysayers:
Stay strong! Keep going! STAY STRONG. KEEP GOING.

This walk is hard. But the hardest walks lead to the greatest destinations. The toughest climbs always lead to the best views!

It WILL be worth it in the end. If you show what you are made of, 
the RIGHT people will show up in your life.

You won’t be a lone wolf forever.

You have qualities only few can admire, 
because most don’t possess. You have strength only few can understand, 
because most have never experienced.

So don’t give in…
Don’t settle…
Don’t lower your expectations to fit into the world…
You were born to STAND OUT…
You were born to LEAD…

They say the wolf on the hill is never as hungry as the wolf climbing the hill.

Always be that wolf, climbing the hill.
Always hungry for more!
Always hungry to grow, to feed your mind and to rise to the highest level YOU can take yourself.

Never looking back…Always looking forward, 
to the next feast. 
Feast of success, in whatever you do.

It doesn’t matter if you have to walk alone for a while. It is much better to walk alone in the right direction, 
than to follow the herd walking in the wrong direction.


Your destiny is in your hands!
Get out there and hunt it!

Challen Miller


If not now….then when?

There will never be a point in your life where it’s the “right time” to do a great thing. If you’re waiting for that perfect moment, that perfect time, it’s not going to happen. You know what you have to do? You have to create the perfect time and the perfect opportunity and the perfect situation.
So a lot of people become comfortable. They stop growing, they stop wanting anything, they become satisfied. People getting ready to go to jobs that they don’t like, jobs that are making them sick. When you are not pursuing your goal, you are literally committing spiritual suicide. When you have some goal out there that you’re stretching for, reaching for that takes you out of your comfort zone, you’ll find out some talents and abilities that you have that you didn’t know you had. When the message of misery visits you, what are you going to do? What will keep you in the game? There are things that you think that you will never need to know, that you may only need to know one time in your life, but that can save your life because you have that knowledge.
What is it that, at one point in time, you looked at and decided you couldn’t do it? That you talked yourself out of it. If you’re waiting on your next-door neighbour to make it happen, it will never happen for you. If you’re waiting on your mother, or your father, they may be so ancient in their thinking that they don’t understand this opportunity that you have, and if you’re waiting on them, it may never get done.
If you’re not where you are. If you’re not where you want to be, if you don’t have what you want to have, if you’re not where you think you should be in this particular place, it has nothing to do with “The System”, but has everything to do with the fact that you’re not making the sacrifice. If you don’t work to make your dream a reality, you’ll be working for somebody else to make *their* dream a reality.
Most people take their greatness and ideas to the graveyard with them. The wealthiest place on the planet is the graveyard – because in the graveyard, we will find inventions that we were never exposed to, ideas and dreams that never became reality, hopes and aspirations that were never acted upon.
The question is: What are you going to do with your time? What drives you? Greatness is a lot of small things done well. Day after day, workout after workout.
When things don’t work out for you…when things happen that you could not anticipate, what are the reasons that you can think of that can keep you strong? You will never, ever be successful until you turn your pain into greatness. Until you allow your pain to push you from where you are to where you need to be. Stop running from your pain and embrace your pain. Your pain is going to be a part of your pride, part of your end product. It’s easy to be on the bottom-it doesn’t take any effort to be a loser. It doesn’t take any motivation or any drive in order to stay down there at that low level. But to rise above that level, you have to harness your pain, your will, to say “I AM GOING TO CHALLENGE MYSELF!”
The biggest enemy you have to deal with is yourself. There’s an old African proverb that says “if there’s no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm”.
When you have the opportunity of a lifetime, that opportunity means absolutely nothing if you don’t take advantage of it in the lifetime of this opportunity. People have said “if life knocks you down, try to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up”.
Thoughts, Writings

Dark Letters 10


We just got home from Boyko’s tonight. He is my footwork and moves coach. He was an Olympian for Bulgaria back in 1988. One of my friends and fellow coaches, Matt, just got back from Cancun with his new wife. They brought Boyko a bottle of expensive tequila. This bottle was like 2 feet tall. So we were doing shots from that while eating potato chips and onion dip. Lagutin was there and Ken and Kathy. Ken was our designated driver. We complained about lots of things. Lazy skaters at the rink. The skating director, Kim, skating parents, shitty ice conditions, rink management.

Then Boyko broke out his Victoria’s Secret catalogs (he has a love for them!) And that led to conversations about porn, and then to how penis size does matter to the woman. Then that led to him lamenting about his recent separation from his wife. Then we went to his garage and he sharpened ice skates while he was drunk. I was pretty tipsy to know. We went back outside with our legs in his pool. I hate the mosquitoes here. They are like birds. You have to hit them two or three times to kill them. Then you itch forever. I bought a tube of Benadryl anti-itch cream. It’s already halfway gone!
-Challen Miller


Thoughts, Writings

Dark Letters 9

I accepted the skating position with the speed team today. Now I have to start recruiting and doing personal training off-ice for two of my special Olympians.

It’s been almost a month since everything happened. The worst day of my life – June 29th, 2008. The day I destroyed Colorado. When I destroyed all those innocent lives.

I made an offer for Heather to skate with me. She’s always been searching for a partner since I left. Now I’m back. If she wants to skate with me for testing purposes only, I will work with her. I made it very clear I have no intentions of competing I should hear back in a few days. It will be more of a coaching position with her though. I will teacher free dance elements and choreograph a free dance for her juvenile and intermediate tests.

-Challen Miller

Thoughts, Writings

Dark Letters 8


Today was the first day I allowed Kathy to drag me onto the ice. At first, when I stepped on the ice, I felt a feeling of dread. The ice was so big and even though there were 10 other people on the ice, I felt alone and scared. I reach out my right hand and Rebecca is not there. I look across the ice and you are not there. Jumping. Doing that salchow and dragging your free leg right as you take off. Only you could do that.

I work with Kathy on European waltz a bit. Serving others seems to help the most. I have no desire to work on my dances or MIF. But I will skate with her because she needs me.

-Challen Miller

Thoughts, Writings

Dark Letters 7


Lagutin called me and told me I need to come to Oklahoma City and stay with him overnight in order to go to his church in the morning. Kathy and I drove down Saturday and sat at his table while he lectured me. He said “remember to be good to the people you pass on the way to the top, because you will pass the same people on your way back down”.



He feels I betrayed him by moving to Colorado instead of staying and training under his guidance. He has always wanted me to skate with Heather but he’s never expressed that. Like I was supposed to read his mind. When I moved to Colorado, Heather was pre-preliminary level and I was pre-silver level on dances. I wanted coaches who would show up to lessons and train me hard since I, by nature, am a lazy skater. A majority of the time, he would not show up to my lessons or call. The other part of the time, he would yell at me and lecture me whenever accomplished anything because we were like brother. Traveling all over the country together also. He took me for granted. Now he says I betrayed him…



The next morning, we went to his church and the pastor delivered a message meant specifically for me it’s a small church, maybe 20 to 30 people. He stood in front of me most of the time and spoke directly at me and made direct eye contact. I was in tears the whole time. He talked about the trials and tribulations of Jesus’ disciples and the things they had to endure for their faith. It made my situation feels so much less intimidating.


-Challen Miller

Thoughts, Writings

Dark Letters 6


I got my new apartment today. It’s about 3 miles from the ice rink. Five minutes. I got a good deal on it. Single bedroom, 700 ft.² for $375 per month. It’s so big and empty though. I have no furniture. I need a pet. I might look into a beagle. I want a girl. I will name her “Filuska” – after the girl who stole my heart. She will speak Polish (I guess that means I need to learn it also!)
-Challen Miller