We drove to Colorado today to move my things. I hate that drive. It’s so boring and long. I drove most of the way, Mike drove only a little bit at the beginning. We got there and Howard had moved most of my stuff into a corner, I had to box everything up though. I started at the closet. The moment I opened it, I was flooded with memories and the tears started coming.
I went upstairs and that’s when everything hit. It was too much to handle and I broke down. Then the anxiety hit me and my chest pains started. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to calm down but I couldn’t. I thought I was dying. I worked on my room until 9:00 PM when I gave up and went to the hotel down the street. My sleep was tortured and rest list again. It was sunny that day in Arvada, but it dark ominous clouds obscured my vision.
The next morning at 7 AM I went and started draining the fish tank. I couldn’t find Ryachuk, the new clown trigger. Once I started draining, I found him. Well, pieces of him. His head was missing. I think the crab got him in his sleep. Just more pain to deal with. Kathy will be crushed when I tell her.
The van was too full, so I had to leave the fish tanks. I brought Sergei and Oksana though. Howard wished me luck and we left. Once we turned off of I-70 onto I-35 South at Salina, my spirits went up a bit. It was because I was off “the road that leads to hell” (Denver).